Sunday, November 28, 2010

When is it WOW to take the VOWs?

Hi all - since all of you are on the other side of the court - may b u can tell me -
I have 2 important questions to ask you :-
1) When is the right age for a girl to get married?
2) What is the right age difference between the Man and the Woman that can make a marriage workable?

If you ask me - I always believed that marriage has got nothing to do with age - when it happens, it just.. does - u have to be mentally and emotionally prepared to get married - to realize that u r finally ready to take up that additional responsibility - to be someone's wife - daughter in law and finally soon, a mother - but ALAS! Due to several social, economical, emotional and paternal, maternal, hormonal pressure there are certain cut-offs or expiry dates for a girl to get married. I myself is 27 now and many of my uncles and aunties tell me that OMG it is too late ... by now you should have been raising your 2nd child .. !!! .. hehehe my Q is what do I do with the child in me which is still jumping with all the life's excitement .. anyways ... I once read an article in TOI which defined 28 as the best year for a woman to get married - this was the result of a survey which said that 28 is the most satisfying year in a woman's life - she has reached at the peak of her career and is content with it - she is looking more towards settling down now, since she has accomplished most of her aspirations - also if she is already in a relationship, the relationship has reached a stability - also 28 is a year when a woman is more confident - more sure of herself - she is more aware of what she wants out of life and is geared to looking forward to it - I too somehow agree with this survey - cos this is exactly how I feel.

Regarding the 2nd Q - I would say anywhere between 1-5 years. As per today's day and age where women are working and providing for herself, the mind and body of the 2 ppl should be as similar as possible - I think this age difference brings in a sense of friendship in the marriage - but as someone has said out of experience - love knows no age, no money, no boundaries etc etc - some philosophy - but again ALAS!!!! - in my community or rather in kerala gals are married off to guys 7-10 yrs older to them - WEIRD - but true - this is normal and socially very acceptable - :(

But again - as I said - since I am the least experienced one in this matter - I would want your advice, guidance, experience, thoughts, philosophies etc.. - What do you think should be the best age for the Woman to get married and to how much older a man?

3 comments:

  1. hehehe.. good one swat.. ideally there should be no age to marriage but personally I feel 27-30 is just the right age for working girls like us. As for age difference, I do not suppose there should be any constraint for it. I have seen loads of couples with an age diff of 8+ years and believe me the are the happiest couple. The constraint for marriage should be understanding and respect for each other. If these are there nothing else really matters.

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  2. hehe ... good 1.If you ask me love,marriage, emotions et al are not logic/science where you can universally set the variable marriage_age=27 and age_diff >= 2, 3 whatever. My parents had a love marriage and age diff between them is 8. They sure make a "made for each other" couple .. :) Age diff between me and my hubby is 2 and we share a great relationship. I would say look for an understanding friend who has the same maturity level like yours (so if you are a kid .. :D .. look for a kid .. ;))

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  3. Thanks for your valuable suggestions - Nishi - I would find myself a kid then - i think i have a lot to grow :-) - also Sush you are somewhere right - for working girls like us who are staying outside and building a career, finding a match and then settling down takes time - this is quite realistic - but many ppl tell me - getting married at this age means you are late for a baby and a woman's body has a better rebound quality if they deliver in their 20s - i think science has developed a lot to free us from this age bar - :-) but ppl who believe that i should be raising my 2nd child are dead against me - also regarding the age difference its true that even a 8+ age difference couples make a happy couple - but then in my community guys have made this an excuse and look for only those gals who are much much younger than they are - For eg: i was looking at this guy's proposal who is 27 my same age - he has set is partner preference as some one from 19-22 ???? - WHAT CRAP - 19??? what the heck is he looking for in his life partner -???? - and this is the case with most of them - it is frustrating to see interest request from someone from a prehistoric era who believes that gals must forget their famiies once they tie the mangalsutra - !@$@#!%!@#$@#^@% !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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