When is it WOW to take the VOWs?

Hi all - since all of you are on the other side of the court - may b u can tell me -
I have 2 important questions to ask you :-
1) When is the right age for a girl to get married?
2) What is the right age difference between the Man and the Woman that can make a marriage workable?

If you ask me - I always believed that marriage has got nothing to do with age - when it happens, it just.. does - u have to be mentally and emotionally prepared to get married - to realize that u r finally ready to take up that additional responsibility - to be someone's wife - daughter in law and finally soon, a mother - but ALAS! Due to several social, economical, emotional and paternal, maternal, hormonal pressure there are certain cut-offs or expiry dates for a girl to get married. I myself is 27 now and many of my uncles and aunties tell me that OMG it is too late ... by now you should have been raising your 2nd child .. !!! .. hehehe my Q is what do I do with the child in me which is still jumping with all the life's excitement .. anyways ... I once read an article in TOI which defined 28 as the best year for a woman to get married - this was the result of a survey which said that 28 is the most satisfying year in a woman's life - she has reached at the peak of her career and is content with it - she is looking more towards settling down now, since she has accomplished most of her aspirations - also if she is already in a relationship, the relationship has reached a stability - also 28 is a year when a woman is more confident - more sure of herself - she is more aware of what she wants out of life and is geared to looking forward to it - I too somehow agree with this survey - cos this is exactly how I feel.

Regarding the 2nd Q - I would say anywhere between 1-5 years. As per today's day and age where women are working and providing for herself, the mind and body of the 2 ppl should be as similar as possible - I think this age difference brings in a sense of friendship in the marriage - but as someone has said out of experience - love knows no age, no money, no boundaries etc etc - some philosophy - but again ALAS!!!! - in my community or rather in kerala gals are married off to guys 7-10 yrs older to them - WEIRD - but true - this is normal and socially very acceptable - :(

But again - as I said - since I am the least experienced one in this matter - I would want your advice, guidance, experience, thoughts, philosophies etc.. - What do you think should be the best age for the Woman to get married and to how much older a man?

Mr. PRAGAAASH ... COLLING...

It's a Saturday - the weekend, but I am working today, If you are one of those super-flexible special species, whose fate had it that you become a support engineer, this might not be something new or surprising. Super-flexible special species because, you work any time of the day or night so say 6am to 3pm, 12pm to 9pm or 10pm to 6 am, weekends etc. So, here I am – doing a highly critical system testing, something which has the highest visibility to the business – It has a window of just 1 hr – if I don’t finish it -it is as good as the end of this world – end of my job – in short – it’s a matter of life and death for me – !!!! …..
As per the thumb rule of the greatest ironies, whenever you are occupied by something extremely important – something that requires you’re the most immense concentration and dedication, your MOBILE has to RING !!!... And .. it has to ring with the highest volume and with the most weirdest ringtones – a ringtone which you just happened to be checking out the last night but forgot to turn off – so, here it goes - “…. MAHABHARAT ….!!!!– aaa aaa aaa – ath shri mahabharat katha - aaa – ath shri mahabharat katha ….aaaa .. mahabharat katha .. aaa” – the next thumb rule is no matter how much ever efforts you make to find that screaming mobile in your bag – you won’t find it unless everyone in the bay has noticed you – half of them have displayed their amusement and the rest of the half, the displeasure. Though, the amount of displeasure is definitely more than the amusement “… Katha hai purushartha ki, ye swartha ki, paramartha ki, sarathi jiske bane ye sri Krishna bharat paartha ki …” it goes on and on…!!!
EUREKA !!!! – I finally found it – it displays a number which definitely is from a foreign land – I wonder who on earth; in the midst of a sunny afternoon like the one now, is calling me – which country is it from – because most of my friends are either in UK or in US – I don’t expect any calls from them at this time – “…. yada yada hi dharmasya glanir bhavati bharat ….” - anyways, to avoid the rest of the embarrassment – I just pick up the phone – And SWEAR by the love of mother god – how much I regret it, to this date and time – my this action of picking up that miserably eventful call – !!!
“hello – is this SWAAAAATHI!!!! – I yaam PRAGAAASH here” - !!!!!
????SWAAAAATHI ??” - “a Mr. Pragaash with a thick mallu accent – I do not know anyone with that name and that accent” – anyways – I ask – “I am sorry – I do not know you – this is with regards to what?” – “I saw your profile on Keralamatrimony – I am calling with regards to that” – “????KERALA MATRIMONY ???– at this time – no ways” – I thought – but it is bad manners to be rude on phone so I continue - “oh ok – alright where are you calling from -? ” –“ I YAAM COLLING FROM OOMAAN” – (its oman actually – but read it just the way it is written – it would just give you a feel of that mallu accent, I am referring to) – ok – “tell me about yourself Prakash – what do you do? – Where are you from in kerala? – your family” –
“oh – I am basically from Thrissur in Kerala – my parents are staying there – I have a brother and 2 sisters – both are married and settled in Kerala” – I was working in Kerala state government before – I resigned and came here in Oman 2 yrs back” – “ok – what do you do?? – I asked” – “I am an optic technician in a hospital here” – “Swaaathi – where are you from??” – “well – I am basically from cochin in Kerala – but we are settled in Mumbai since 17 yrs” – “in my family – I have mom dad – a elder sis married and has a baby and a younger brother” –
After a decent enough discussion of our family background – I tell him – “I am sorry Prakash – but we are not looking for any proposals outside India” – he somehow does not seem to like this idea – “WHY SWAAATHI – why so???” – “Because my entire family is here – and it is easy if you are nearby since you can visit them and you stay in touch – migrating to Oman is not something I would want to do in future – also with respect to my work – there are very few chances or scope in Oman” –
“NO NO SWAATHI – I don’t plan to stay here forever – I am planning to go to EUROPE and go study there” – so you come there –
“hmm - whether it is Europe or Oman it does not make much difference because it is outside India” –
“but SWAATHI – the life in India is very different from here – living outside is an experience” – “you have always lived in Mumbai – so you don’t know” – “you must stay outside your home some time you will realize – it’s such a good experience” – BLAH BLAH BLAH !!! –
I don’t know – but this statement does not generate any sense of appreciation or admiration towards him in me – once he is done with explaining me the advantages of staying outside INDIA – I tell him – “Prakash – just to let you know – I was before in Mysore then for some time in Bangalore then Pune – then I went to London – I shifted to Mumbai – so that I could stay with my parents and take care of them – but in between I went to Newyork also – Again, my dad had a transferrable job – hence, every 3 years he would be transferred to a new place and my school would also change – believe me even if we have stayed in Mumbai for so long but within Mumbai itself, we have moved a lot around – so I very well know and can relate to what you are saying – it definitely is an experience travelling within the country and outside of it” – “I must say don’t just stay in Oman – if you have plans to migrate to Europe then very well do it – your EXPERIENCE will only increase” - !@$!@$%!@%@$ - !!!!” - He says “hhhmmmmmmmmmmm” – a BIG “hmmmmmmmmmmm” – !!!!!!
“SWAAATHI – actually I saw you online last night on Kerlamatrimony and had pinged you on the chat – but you did not reply!!!!” – “Oh – so that was him!!! – well you know, these are the very few moments of the life – when you regret to be living in a technically advanced world – how it has become so easy to reach people – to approach them in spite of them not wanting you to” – at this moment I do want to believe that - that those 50 Paisa postcard days were really gr8!!! - J
“so SWAAATHI – you want to say that you want to stay somewhere near by your parents – so you are an Amma and Acchcan’s girl TYPE of girl” – “but SWAAATHI let me tell you – for a WOMAN – once they are married the most important thing in the world should be her PHARTAAV (meaning husband in mallu) and her PHARTAAV’s FAAAAAAMILY” – !!! …
“????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@” – “oh really????” – I ask –
“Yes of Corse – after marriage a women’s family becomes secondary – because she has to move with her PHARTAAV and take care of him and his FAAAAMILY” – “so you should be really not be thinking about your parents that much – because eventually you would be busy with your PHARTAV” – “so it does not matter even if you stay outside India” - !!!!...
I think that was more than enough for me – “YOU – PRAGAASH – have 2 sisters !!! – both married – where did you say they are????” –“amm in KERALA !!!” – I asked “WHY???” why are they in Kerala??? – He has no answer “well that all depends” – “OO Oh ok – so all that depends??? Is it?? – well let me tell you something PRAGAAASH – there is one more number on that website – that is of my dad’s – why don’t you have word with him???” – all he has to say is - “AA BBB AAA BBB DDD” – “Yes – I would appreciate if you could speak with him and let him know of your thoughts – he would be more than glad to talk to you – go ahead – call him!!! – I shall talk to you later after you have spoken with”- “in fact – I would have appreciated it if you would have contacted him first” – “AAA BAAA AAA ok ill call him” – “hey don’t worry you can take your time - BYE for now though !!!!” – !@$!#$@!%!$#@%@#$....
Having not realized how long I have been talking - I frantically look at my watch – oh gr8!! – I have 20 min of my time – I hurriedly get back to my work – “who were you talking to???” – My friend asks me – “Oh wait, I shall tell you but did you know?? – that if you are married all your responsibilities are towards only and only to your PHARTAAV and his family??” – “WHAT?? – what is PHARTAV” – “oh sorry I mean your beloved husband” – “that’s crazy – who told you this – there is nothing like – I love both my families” – “oh really – does your PHARTAAV – I mean your husband know that and is he ok with this” – “yea of Corse” – “oh then good for you” !! J
It’s a Saturday again, me and dad are having coffee, when I suddenly happen to remember – “Dad, did you get any call from a Mr. PRAGAAASH?” – “no – I didn’t – why??” – I smile – “did’nt I tell you who called me up last weekend?” – “No”
Ok – then here it goes....... !!!!!!!!!..... J

Vibhavangal (Delicacies) ...

Ende Keralam … !!!

... Meaning My Kerala – though I have always stayed outside Kerala for most of my life – but still my brief memories of the summer vacation visits to Kerala is vivid and vibrant in my mind – as vivid and as vibrant as this place…
Of the many things that can be said about Kerala – one of them is the Malayali Food – mmm.. yummm.. Legitimately called as the “God’s own Country” – due to its lush greenery and breath taking scenic beauty - the food from here is nothing more than HEAVENLY - !!!
So from the God’s own Country - here are some Malayali food recipes – for all my foodie friends :-)

Note: These are the authentic recipes from my Mom’s Kitchen –

1) Chamandi - Coconut chutney, for idlies and dosas:-
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Mix finely grated fresh coconut + finely cut small onions + salt + red chilli powder in mixie till smooth.
Now put some water and heat – do not bring to boil
Tadka – mustard seeds + kari patta + red tadka chilli + finely cut small onions.

2) Sambar – from now on throw away that everest sambar masala outside the window:-
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Put all the vegetables you can think of – pototaoes, tomatoes, onions, garlic, elephant ear (or sooran in hindi), drum sticks, brinjal, okra or bhindi, tinda, chowli, beet roots, pumpkin etc etc - ofcorse exclude Bitter Gourd and gobis – the more the vegetables the more it is delicious and healthy - all cut into cubes + green chillis + tuvar dal + some water depending upon the consistency you prefer into a cooker --> 2 seetis and down.
On a separate tawa one by one roast chilli powder then dhania powder. Note the fragrance of the perfect roasted masala is strong and may make you sneeze or cough – if you do then its done – take it out immediately – make sure you don’t burn it – it takes barely a min on a nicely hot tawa – this is the trick to a mouth-watering sambar :-)
After the cooker opens add turmeric + salt + imali soaked water + roasted chilli powder and dhania powder + kari patta + heeng (the 2nd trick to the mouth-watering Sambar) --> bring this to boil.
Tadaka – in a hot Oil add mustard seeds + dhania seeds + small onions (also called madarasi onions – these are different from our regural onions – are very small- the 3rd trick to that luscious sambar) + red tadaka chillis
Add the tadaka to the boiling Sambar – WOOPIEEE – go lost in its smell :-)

3) Avial – A mix vegetable curry in coconut gravy:-
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Put all vegetables – tomatoes + potatoes + onions + chowli + gawar + pumpkin etc all cut as elongated + some water --> 2 seetis and down.
Now put turmeric + chilli powder + salt + imli soaked water into those vegetable and bring to boil.
Bring it down and put some coarsely ground coconut and some coconut oil.
Tadaka – kari patta + jeera + again the small onions.

4) Inji Curry – Ginger curry actually more of a chutney:-
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For tadka – put dhania seeds + mustard seeds and let those burst
Now put finely grated onions and finely grated lots of ginger + kari patta + red chilli powder + dhania powder + turmeric powder + salt
Fry this nicely – the ginger becomes deep red and crispy – now put some imli soaked water – bring to boil – bring down once the water goes and the consistency is thick.
To be eaten with rice like chutney.

5) Pach adi – A kind of Raayata:-
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Beat the curd with some salt - so that the water and the butter mix but do not make the consistency thin – let it be thick – keep aside.
Tadaka – dhania seeds + mustard seeds + jeera seeds – let these burst – now put into this fine cut small onions + grren chillis + kari patta + a vegetable – fry well.
Note: the vegetable can be either fine cut bhindi or fine cut locky or fine cut pumpkin – which ever you like.
Bring this down and let it cool – now mix this to the curd and yummy Pach adi is ready :-)

6) Pullusherry:- a kind of kadi:-
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Beat the curd with some salt + turmeric powder + red chilli powder – beet well so that the consistency is thin, if need be put some water.
Heat this while mixing it continuously. Note that it has to be only heated not boiled. You have to heat it till the colour changes to a bright yellow.
Tadaka – dhania seeds + mustard seeds + finely cut small onions + red tadaka chilli + kari patta + garlic.
To be eated with rice just like dal.

More to follow here – this is a long list :-)