It’s a Sunday evening – nothing is special about this weekend. A regular one – I wake up in the morning to mom’s regular dose of dos and don’ts – take my bath – do my exercise – take my breakfast and clean up my room – by the time all this is over its usually 10 AM – yes I manage to do all this on a Sunday morning by 10 AM – sounds unlikely to any software engineer – cos Sunday mornings are usually spent in the bed – compensating to the partying or night out on a Saturday night – well that used to be my routine once upon a time – but this is NOW! – So let’s talk about NOW!!!!
After my regular afternoon nap, an end result of a heavy lunch – I am having my cup of Tea – trying to wake myself up – when a brilliant idea strikes me!! – Why not look up for some good executive MBA courses??? !!!!! – So I start up my desktop and connect the internet for some SERIOUS net surfing – after all it’s about the aspirations of an aspiring MBA grad :-) !!!...
I have just launched my first IE page – when mom comes to me – she has a SWEET smile and a hopeful gaze – :-( - when I look at her – I have already realized what she is going to come up with – she knows what I am about to say – so she WIDENS her smile – and puts that EXTRA sugar into her words – !!!!
“mon – keralamtrimony torunnu aa proposals onnu nolkawo??” – Meaning – “BETA why don’t you open the keralamatrimony website and look for some proposals??” –
What a GREAT idea???!!!! – It seems to my mom – at times I am so amazed – when I think of the difference between my ambitions and mom’s expectations - :-(
“Mummy – nyaan uppol otthiri important aayitole karyam chedondu irrikyua!!” – Meaning – “mom am doing something very important right now!!” – I retaliate – trying to sound as busy and as annoyed as possible – but to no avail – after all she is my mom – she knows me really well – so she gets dad also – who was busy watching TV – but switches it off – as he also finds keralamatrimony to be more interesting than the Malayalam songs program he was watching – something he never misses.
SO - there u go – the criteria is simple – height – 5’5” to 6’0” (I wonder why I need such a tall boy I am anyways small!!)– Age – 27 to 32 – Education – Engineer\Doctor\MBA (simply because I hold an engg. Degree and that very much justifies my hunt for a qualified husband) – location Mumbai and last but not the least – the community – never in the 26 yrs of my life have I felt the importance of my caste so profoundly – it is now that I realize – how this can be the only deciding factor for my marriage!!! – So that leaves me with some very few options – there are 53 matches – hmm well not bad –!!!
Since it’s an arranged marriage I look at my mom dad – to do the honors – pick up whomever they want – but they want me do the honors – well!! Am so proud of them – they want me to make my choice – well what they don’t realize is – that my choice is not to get married this year – aaahhhhhh - well anyways!!! – so I go through the pages – to find someone who looks different – yes different – cos they all look the same – the same JET BLACK hair – and the same BIG moustache – well – I could find 3 of them without moustache – so I pick them up – I think they deserve a chance – after all they had the guts to break the age old tradition of our mallu guys keeping a moustache!!!- Its fast – customized messages – “interested in your profile” and the 1st step is done – PHEW!! – Its over – now let me get back to my stuff - !!!
Mom and dad are happy – the twinkle in their eyes is similar to that of a small child getting a lollipop – by the time I had finished with this – I realize it’s already dinner time and time to log-off – so there goes my MBA plans – thanks to this keralamatrimony the business world is losing out on a bright candidate – but what I did not realize at this moment – I sent a small message “interested in your profile” I din even bother to go through these profiles – but this small message could bring big and bigger problems.
It’s again a Sunday – but this is not a regular one – it’s a chaos in the house today – “we are getting late – cant you make it fast” – my dad is pretty annoyed – he does not want to be late – it’s as if whoever gets first there gets the best groom – hmm – “mom it’s ok now I think we are done” – my mom looks at me - hopefully the last time – “hmmmmmmmmm” – she says – as if giving her approval - gives me the SAME big smile – “this time I too think that we are done” –
Ok – let me tell you where we are going – it happens to be “kudumbam sangamam” – meaning “family get together” – so all the aspiring brides and grooms of my community with their families can come up – meet up chat up and decide on their wedding plans - !@#!@#!@$ - something like speed dating – here this is speed marriages -!!!
Seems like a picnic for my parents – seriously – look at their faces – it’s glowing with all the excitement – as for me - It seems so SUICIDAL – why am I doing this??? – After all, the NOs – denials – debates - arguments and emotional attyachars - I am finally here – to find my SOUL MATE - !!!
SOUL MATE – hmm – he definitely does not look like one – and why the heck is he smiling so much???!!! -!@#!@#!@$ - He and his family seem to be very excited to meet mom and dad – so are my parents – the only thing I want to do right now is concentrate on my cup of tea. It’s so delicious - !!! – At this moment it’s the best thing in this whole world!!! -
“I have seen him somewhere” – I tell Arun – who is kind of enjoying this whole circus the most – its free entertainment for him! – “You might have seen him on keralamatrimony – heee – your favorite website” – it strikes me like a THUNDER BOLT – “OMG!! – What have I done” – “hahahha – don’t tell me you sent him a message” “yes I did” – “GOD!! WHAAAAT!!! – You nuts??? - All the best – be ready for a circus on the next weekend chickoo – you’ve had it!!!”
So – it’s again a Sunday – and it’s again chaotic – everyone seems to be very excited – jo dungu arun mom dad and also our bai – yesterday when dad told me the boy and his family are coming – I thought it would be him and his parents – cos that is what my family is – little did I know – it was the big fat great Indian family – the bell rang – and here they are – hmm – let’s see who all are there –???
The boy – his parents – his 3 aunts – his 2 uncles – his brother – his cousin sister – her husband and their 3 year old kid – I wonder if we should have booked an auditorium – “ayyo santhamma – santhamma endu parrayannu -” (hey santhamma – how are u?)– WOW – look whose here – thankkamma aunty – she happens to be my mom’s good friend – NO WONDER!!! – so one of his aunt is my mom’s friend – that explains the crowd in my house -
Now starts the fun – people finding places to sit – santhamma and thankamma – long lost friends – discussing the old times – and feeling nostalgic about it – all the aunties giggling in one half of the room and all the uncles getting to know each other in the other half – there is something about our mallu uncles and aunties staying outside kerala and meeting up – they discuss their veedu (house), naadu (native place) and parrambu(land) – some of the things they have left behind so long ago but still have never been able to leave those - no matter which part of kerala they belong – they always tend to find some or the other relative – and find that they belong to the same family – and they celebrate - For eg: how is rohini’s aunt’s daughter’s husband’s mother’s cousin’ grandfather doing??? – don’t ask me the answer to this question – it is as complicated as the question is – among all this commotion – the 3 year old finds himself lost - standing at the center of the room – staring at all the faces – not knowing what to do – hehe – he is cute.
So – my mom thinks it is the right time for me to enter into the scene –I am finally allowed to come out of my room – the moment I enter the hall – there is a pin drop silence!!! – the 2nd uncle was going through his 2nd munch of the idli but has stopped now – the aunties were busy gossiping even they have stopped – dad and the uncles discussion of the kerla politics and literature has taken a halt – it’s as if the time has stopped – as if rohini’s aunt’s daughter’s husband’s mother’s cousin’ grandfather is dead – the expression on the kid’s face is the same – still cluleless - !!!
Has it ever happened to you -??? A bunch of people staring at you – silence as dead as grave – they scan you from top to bottom – left and right – this reminds of the security check in at the international airports – am sure not even any terrorist is scanned like this - I do not know what I should be doing?? – What should be the correct or appropriate expression on my face – the only thought coming to my mind now – is that I am feeling FUNNY!!! – Yup – it’s as if someone is tickling me - I feel like a JOKER in this show of circus!!! - there is a chair right across the hall – my mom directs me to sit there – by this time 10 min have passed – but it seems like an era has just passed by – I don’t know – but people seem to not have had enough of staring at me – I can’t hold it any more – “ah mm hmm well - hahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahah” – I start laughing - LOUD and CLEAR!!!– I open my mouth to say something not getting hold of any words – but feel only like laughing – the tickling feeling is just not going!!! – cos suddenly the expression of amusement on everyone’s face has changed to amazement - I see a big question mark on every body’s face - my mom standing there is trying to cover up by again giving her wide smile – “hello everyone – I am Swati – and I do not know anyone of you – so please introduce yourselves -” I finally manage to pull it off – MOM is impressed!!! – The silence is finally broken – everyone is at ease – so thankamma aunty does the hounour – she takes the pain of introducing everyone to me – sweet aunty - !! “ayyomolu endu velliyaddu aayi – annu endu cherrudu aayirinnu” (“beta – you’ve grown up so big – you used to be a small girl at that time – koochi koochi – koo!!!!”) - As if the embarrassment was not enough!!!
Among all this drama – I actually did not notice the guy – swear – I just din – he is being interrogated by my dad – my dad wants to know where he works – how much he earns – and when did he pass out his engineering – “2005”- he says – ??? – “2005??? – She passed out in 2004 -???” – I eye at my dad – with that expression “wah dad – ladka to mujhse chota hain – hehehhe – too good” – “why?? – You got a drop in engg is it?? ” – poor boy – “no no uncle – I passed all my exams with first class – never got a KT” – OK – so this poor boy is also a good boy it seems!!! - dad checks his date of birth and finds he is 3 months older to me and just happened to join kindergarden a year late – PHEW – everyone is relieved !! – “CRAP – there goes my one chance of saying NO” – I think - at this half of the room – I am also being interrogated – the same set of questions – date of birth – where were you working education – do you cook??? – The most important question in this questionnaire and of course a question that carries the maximum points – and etc etc –!!!
We are permitted to go to the other room – now that uncles and aunties have had enough of me – and my dad enough of him – the beginning is as usual the same stuff – an introduction – about family – your work etc – likes and dislikes etc – but the fun part starts only NOW !!! -
“I believe – as a family we should stay together – I mean I want my parents to stay with me – I know most girls these days want nuclear family – they might be right but I don’t think so -” – “mm – I think you are right” – “it’s nice you think so” – he SMILES! – As if he is so relieved – “so what do you do in your free time – say on weekends – how to you pass your time???” – I ask – “I like music” – mm that’s exciting – “that’s really good – so do you sing or do you play?” –“Both!” – OHH Even better - “oh wow – so you are a musician – that’s nice – so what do you play?? And what music do you like??” – “I play guitar and have a Casio at home- I try to play it daily but hardly find time – it gets busy at times -” – “oh WOW – that really is a very good hobby – so have you been learning music??” - “no not really – I am lazy – sometimes I do sometimes I do not – mom dad encourage me – I am so glad they are so encouraging - and that is how I am learning all this now – I used to sing in college – but it is only now that I discovered my passion for music and started playing – but I think I should be more serious and learn it more seriously – BLAH BLAH - ” –it started well but this seems like a life time achievement award speech now – thank yous and sorrys – “but of Corse if you have a passion for music you must learn it – so what music do you listen to – what do you like the most??” – “Oh – I like all music – but the music that I love the most is – bhajans” – “BHAJANS??????!!!!” – “yes – bhajans – devotional songs -” – it din seem like this when it started – I wonder - ok any ways – “I like listening to all ayyapan bhajans – it’s so soothing so divine – so serene -” – “oh wow – gr8!” I say – “whenever I find time I will go to any show or orchestra where bhajan is taking place” –“during the shabarimala season I visit the temple to listen to these bhajans” – haaaaaaaaaaaaaa – I don’t know what to say - “Oh wow – you seem like a great bhakt of ayyapan – you believe a lot in this god – isn’t it -??”
Shabarimala – if you do not know - this is name of a mountain in central Kerala – it’s a pilgrim – there is a ayyapan temple at the top of it – the season for shabarilmala start somewhere in October and goes on till December – it’s a difficult oath to take – for a month – you are pure vegetarians – you follow brahmacharya – which means you are not allowed to look at girls – listen to loud music or anything provoking – the pilgrim is completely on foot – yes bare foot – you have to climb that mountain to reach the peak – it’s a well know fasting done by hindu mallu men –
“Yes I do – I am a big bhakt of ayyapan – I have a small murti of this lord in my house and also in my office” – “so – have you been to shabarimala??” – “YES YES – 3 times – am planning this year also – I am so much looking forward to it and am so excited –“- “3 times – wow – it’s a very difficult mritum to do – it’s amazing you do it” – since he seemed so interested I told him - “there is a ayyapan temple nearby in our area – and they have several cultural programs during shabarimala season” –“oh really?? – wah – where is it is it nearly by – is it walk able -” – suddenly he is so much full of joy its seems as if he will go visit the temple right now – “yeah it is nearby – but I don’t know where exactly – cos I have never been there – I know because my dad told me” – I told him and he seems disappointed – “you do not go to temple????” –“Yes I do when my mom goes – during Onam and vishu – but it’s not very frequent though–” - “OKkkkk” – a sad ok! –
“Who is going to temple???” – enter arun – wonder what he is doing here – “sorry I don’t want to intrude – just came to check if you guys need anything -??” –no I think I am fine” – “good” – “he was saying he is planning to go to shabarimala – I think arun you should also go sometime – all mallu hindu guys go there – you should also give it a try” – “REALLY??” – “You going there 1st time or have been before” – “this would be the 4th time” – “4th time??? – Wow – I guess I can join u – it would be a good trek for me – smiles” – gr8! Thanks so much toocho – tht was funny – actually the discussion had become so bhakti bhav poorn – that I needed this – but hello be careful – he might not like it – he din like the fact that am not that religious - !! – “ah grrr” – realizing he has cracked something stupid – “ok – you guys continue – I shall check with the others if they need anything”
The kid – I don’t remember what his name is – ill call him bablu – cos if not his mama but at least he is cute – comes running to our room – I see my neice “dungu” is after him – she has a determined look – and is staring at him – I wonder whts up with those kids – bablu is standing near the wall panting - with a frightened look on his face – dungu still with the same determined look – what is it with this girl?? – is she going to hit him ? Pinch him or hug him?? – she is a very unpredictable girl – just like her naani - dungu approaches him and pulls her hand out and gives him a bikki (biscuit) – bikki is her language – bablu finally smiles – she is happy and goes away – WOW - !! – Childhood was definitely fun I think – so innocent - !!!
“I am a pure vegetarian!! – I don’t like meat or chicken” – “oh really – why is that so – have you never eaten?? Is your family also vegetarian -” “no – they all eat – it’s just that I don’t – I just don’t like the taste of it – besides it goes against my faith -” – “hmmm” - “how about u?” – “ME?? – ah hah – am a pure non-vegetarian – I love fish the most – I can have it anytime anywhere – in fact we all r in my family – kind of have been used to having chicken fish and eggs -” – he is again disappointed - :-(
“so – I have heard IT has hectic work schedule – and you have to travel a lot” - “yes that is true – at times my work becomes hectic -” – “do you have to stay back late?? – do you have night shifts??” – “no – no nights but yeah at times I have to stretch - what time do you come home -??” – “my timings are 8 to 5 and am home by 6” –“oh that’s a good time – you get lot of time for yourself” – “by the time I tell him about my travel tour and excursions he is already exhausted – its starts from Mysore – Pune – Bangalore – London - Italy - Swiss and 2 months back I had been to New York” – “OHHH” he says – “would you have to travel even now - ?? I mean even after marriage do they ask you to??” - “mm – well nothing is hard and fast – depends upon the opportunities!!” – He is again disappointed!
“So what are your aspirations? – what do you plan to do in next say 5 years??” – I ask him - “oh well – I have bought a house recently – so I think I shall shift there – and continue to work here – I go to office and come back by evening - so basically settle down” – hmmm – well is that all you want to do?? – “Mm well yes” -It seems like he is about to take VRS - !!!
“Are you guys done -??” – Says Jo – oh am so glad to see her – “am sorry – but your mom dad are looking for you – if you guys are done!” – “ah yes yes -”
So finally they are leaving – suddenly someone pulls my hand and takes me to a corner – one of his aunts – smiling hopefully at me – “so how did you like our aji mon???” – Ha?? – I am dumbfounded – “aaaa mmmm aa – aunty my parents will let you know” – “ah they will but you tell me now – don’t worry I won’t tell it to anybody” – wow nice plan!! – “hahha aunty – I do not know about him but you are very sweet –” “heheheh” – she is flattered – “ennal namalku pinne kaanam” (so we shall meet again) – says my mom – thank god she is here!!!
PHEW - !!! – At last the show has come to an end – I take a deep breath -!!!
It’s been just 15 min that they have left – and my mom dad are looking at me with the same hopeful smile – “WHAT???” – I say – “ok ok – no problem you take your time and let us know – but I liked the boy – he is educated – good job – has a house – good family – family boy -” and she goes on and on and on – and I wonder - has the show come to an end ?? – Or has it just begun?? !!!!!!!!!!! ………………………….
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After my regular afternoon nap, an end result of a heavy lunch – I am having my cup of Tea – trying to wake myself up – when a brilliant idea strikes me!! – Why not look up for some good executive MBA courses??? !!!!! – So I start up my desktop and connect the internet for some SERIOUS net surfing – after all it’s about the aspirations of an aspiring MBA grad :-) !!!...
I have just launched my first IE page – when mom comes to me – she has a SWEET smile and a hopeful gaze – :-( - when I look at her – I have already realized what she is going to come up with – she knows what I am about to say – so she WIDENS her smile – and puts that EXTRA sugar into her words – !!!!
“mon – keralamtrimony torunnu aa proposals onnu nolkawo??” – Meaning – “BETA why don’t you open the keralamatrimony website and look for some proposals??” –
What a GREAT idea???!!!! – It seems to my mom – at times I am so amazed – when I think of the difference between my ambitions and mom’s expectations - :-(
“Mummy – nyaan uppol otthiri important aayitole karyam chedondu irrikyua!!” – Meaning – “mom am doing something very important right now!!” – I retaliate – trying to sound as busy and as annoyed as possible – but to no avail – after all she is my mom – she knows me really well – so she gets dad also – who was busy watching TV – but switches it off – as he also finds keralamatrimony to be more interesting than the Malayalam songs program he was watching – something he never misses.
SO - there u go – the criteria is simple – height – 5’5” to 6’0” (I wonder why I need such a tall boy I am anyways small!!)– Age – 27 to 32 – Education – Engineer\Doctor\MBA (simply because I hold an engg. Degree and that very much justifies my hunt for a qualified husband) – location Mumbai and last but not the least – the community – never in the 26 yrs of my life have I felt the importance of my caste so profoundly – it is now that I realize – how this can be the only deciding factor for my marriage!!! – So that leaves me with some very few options – there are 53 matches – hmm well not bad –!!!
Since it’s an arranged marriage I look at my mom dad – to do the honors – pick up whomever they want – but they want me do the honors – well!! Am so proud of them – they want me to make my choice – well what they don’t realize is – that my choice is not to get married this year – aaahhhhhh - well anyways!!! – so I go through the pages – to find someone who looks different – yes different – cos they all look the same – the same JET BLACK hair – and the same BIG moustache – well – I could find 3 of them without moustache – so I pick them up – I think they deserve a chance – after all they had the guts to break the age old tradition of our mallu guys keeping a moustache!!!- Its fast – customized messages – “interested in your profile” and the 1st step is done – PHEW!! – Its over – now let me get back to my stuff - !!!
Mom and dad are happy – the twinkle in their eyes is similar to that of a small child getting a lollipop – by the time I had finished with this – I realize it’s already dinner time and time to log-off – so there goes my MBA plans – thanks to this keralamatrimony the business world is losing out on a bright candidate – but what I did not realize at this moment – I sent a small message “interested in your profile” I din even bother to go through these profiles – but this small message could bring big and bigger problems.
It’s again a Sunday – but this is not a regular one – it’s a chaos in the house today – “we are getting late – cant you make it fast” – my dad is pretty annoyed – he does not want to be late – it’s as if whoever gets first there gets the best groom – hmm – “mom it’s ok now I think we are done” – my mom looks at me - hopefully the last time – “hmmmmmmmmm” – she says – as if giving her approval - gives me the SAME big smile – “this time I too think that we are done” –
Ok – let me tell you where we are going – it happens to be “kudumbam sangamam” – meaning “family get together” – so all the aspiring brides and grooms of my community with their families can come up – meet up chat up and decide on their wedding plans - !@#!@#!@$ - something like speed dating – here this is speed marriages -!!!
Seems like a picnic for my parents – seriously – look at their faces – it’s glowing with all the excitement – as for me - It seems so SUICIDAL – why am I doing this??? – After all, the NOs – denials – debates - arguments and emotional attyachars - I am finally here – to find my SOUL MATE - !!!
SOUL MATE – hmm – he definitely does not look like one – and why the heck is he smiling so much???!!! -!@#!@#!@$ - He and his family seem to be very excited to meet mom and dad – so are my parents – the only thing I want to do right now is concentrate on my cup of tea. It’s so delicious - !!! – At this moment it’s the best thing in this whole world!!! -
“I have seen him somewhere” – I tell Arun – who is kind of enjoying this whole circus the most – its free entertainment for him! – “You might have seen him on keralamatrimony – heee – your favorite website” – it strikes me like a THUNDER BOLT – “OMG!! – What have I done” – “hahahha – don’t tell me you sent him a message” “yes I did” – “GOD!! WHAAAAT!!! – You nuts??? - All the best – be ready for a circus on the next weekend chickoo – you’ve had it!!!”
So – it’s again a Sunday – and it’s again chaotic – everyone seems to be very excited – jo dungu arun mom dad and also our bai – yesterday when dad told me the boy and his family are coming – I thought it would be him and his parents – cos that is what my family is – little did I know – it was the big fat great Indian family – the bell rang – and here they are – hmm – let’s see who all are there –???
The boy – his parents – his 3 aunts – his 2 uncles – his brother – his cousin sister – her husband and their 3 year old kid – I wonder if we should have booked an auditorium – “ayyo santhamma – santhamma endu parrayannu -” (hey santhamma – how are u?)– WOW – look whose here – thankkamma aunty – she happens to be my mom’s good friend – NO WONDER!!! – so one of his aunt is my mom’s friend – that explains the crowd in my house -
Now starts the fun – people finding places to sit – santhamma and thankamma – long lost friends – discussing the old times – and feeling nostalgic about it – all the aunties giggling in one half of the room and all the uncles getting to know each other in the other half – there is something about our mallu uncles and aunties staying outside kerala and meeting up – they discuss their veedu (house), naadu (native place) and parrambu(land) – some of the things they have left behind so long ago but still have never been able to leave those - no matter which part of kerala they belong – they always tend to find some or the other relative – and find that they belong to the same family – and they celebrate - For eg: how is rohini’s aunt’s daughter’s husband’s mother’s cousin’ grandfather doing??? – don’t ask me the answer to this question – it is as complicated as the question is – among all this commotion – the 3 year old finds himself lost - standing at the center of the room – staring at all the faces – not knowing what to do – hehe – he is cute.
So – my mom thinks it is the right time for me to enter into the scene –I am finally allowed to come out of my room – the moment I enter the hall – there is a pin drop silence!!! – the 2nd uncle was going through his 2nd munch of the idli but has stopped now – the aunties were busy gossiping even they have stopped – dad and the uncles discussion of the kerla politics and literature has taken a halt – it’s as if the time has stopped – as if rohini’s aunt’s daughter’s husband’s mother’s cousin’ grandfather is dead – the expression on the kid’s face is the same – still cluleless - !!!
Has it ever happened to you -??? A bunch of people staring at you – silence as dead as grave – they scan you from top to bottom – left and right – this reminds of the security check in at the international airports – am sure not even any terrorist is scanned like this - I do not know what I should be doing?? – What should be the correct or appropriate expression on my face – the only thought coming to my mind now – is that I am feeling FUNNY!!! – Yup – it’s as if someone is tickling me - I feel like a JOKER in this show of circus!!! - there is a chair right across the hall – my mom directs me to sit there – by this time 10 min have passed – but it seems like an era has just passed by – I don’t know – but people seem to not have had enough of staring at me – I can’t hold it any more – “ah mm hmm well - hahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahah” – I start laughing - LOUD and CLEAR!!!– I open my mouth to say something not getting hold of any words – but feel only like laughing – the tickling feeling is just not going!!! – cos suddenly the expression of amusement on everyone’s face has changed to amazement - I see a big question mark on every body’s face - my mom standing there is trying to cover up by again giving her wide smile – “hello everyone – I am Swati – and I do not know anyone of you – so please introduce yourselves -” I finally manage to pull it off – MOM is impressed!!! – The silence is finally broken – everyone is at ease – so thankamma aunty does the hounour – she takes the pain of introducing everyone to me – sweet aunty - !! “ayyomolu endu velliyaddu aayi – annu endu cherrudu aayirinnu” (“beta – you’ve grown up so big – you used to be a small girl at that time – koochi koochi – koo!!!!”) - As if the embarrassment was not enough!!!
Among all this drama – I actually did not notice the guy – swear – I just din – he is being interrogated by my dad – my dad wants to know where he works – how much he earns – and when did he pass out his engineering – “2005”- he says – ??? – “2005??? – She passed out in 2004 -???” – I eye at my dad – with that expression “wah dad – ladka to mujhse chota hain – hehehhe – too good” – “why?? – You got a drop in engg is it?? ” – poor boy – “no no uncle – I passed all my exams with first class – never got a KT” – OK – so this poor boy is also a good boy it seems!!! - dad checks his date of birth and finds he is 3 months older to me and just happened to join kindergarden a year late – PHEW – everyone is relieved !! – “CRAP – there goes my one chance of saying NO” – I think - at this half of the room – I am also being interrogated – the same set of questions – date of birth – where were you working education – do you cook??? – The most important question in this questionnaire and of course a question that carries the maximum points – and etc etc –!!!
We are permitted to go to the other room – now that uncles and aunties have had enough of me – and my dad enough of him – the beginning is as usual the same stuff – an introduction – about family – your work etc – likes and dislikes etc – but the fun part starts only NOW !!! -
“I believe – as a family we should stay together – I mean I want my parents to stay with me – I know most girls these days want nuclear family – they might be right but I don’t think so -” – “mm – I think you are right” – “it’s nice you think so” – he SMILES! – As if he is so relieved – “so what do you do in your free time – say on weekends – how to you pass your time???” – I ask – “I like music” – mm that’s exciting – “that’s really good – so do you sing or do you play?” –“Both!” – OHH Even better - “oh wow – so you are a musician – that’s nice – so what do you play?? And what music do you like??” – “I play guitar and have a Casio at home- I try to play it daily but hardly find time – it gets busy at times -” – “oh WOW – that really is a very good hobby – so have you been learning music??” - “no not really – I am lazy – sometimes I do sometimes I do not – mom dad encourage me – I am so glad they are so encouraging - and that is how I am learning all this now – I used to sing in college – but it is only now that I discovered my passion for music and started playing – but I think I should be more serious and learn it more seriously – BLAH BLAH - ” –it started well but this seems like a life time achievement award speech now – thank yous and sorrys – “but of Corse if you have a passion for music you must learn it – so what music do you listen to – what do you like the most??” – “Oh – I like all music – but the music that I love the most is – bhajans” – “BHAJANS??????!!!!” – “yes – bhajans – devotional songs -” – it din seem like this when it started – I wonder - ok any ways – “I like listening to all ayyapan bhajans – it’s so soothing so divine – so serene -” – “oh wow – gr8!” I say – “whenever I find time I will go to any show or orchestra where bhajan is taking place” –“during the shabarimala season I visit the temple to listen to these bhajans” – haaaaaaaaaaaaaa – I don’t know what to say - “Oh wow – you seem like a great bhakt of ayyapan – you believe a lot in this god – isn’t it -??”
Shabarimala – if you do not know - this is name of a mountain in central Kerala – it’s a pilgrim – there is a ayyapan temple at the top of it – the season for shabarilmala start somewhere in October and goes on till December – it’s a difficult oath to take – for a month – you are pure vegetarians – you follow brahmacharya – which means you are not allowed to look at girls – listen to loud music or anything provoking – the pilgrim is completely on foot – yes bare foot – you have to climb that mountain to reach the peak – it’s a well know fasting done by hindu mallu men –
“Yes I do – I am a big bhakt of ayyapan – I have a small murti of this lord in my house and also in my office” – “so – have you been to shabarimala??” – “YES YES – 3 times – am planning this year also – I am so much looking forward to it and am so excited –“- “3 times – wow – it’s a very difficult mritum to do – it’s amazing you do it” – since he seemed so interested I told him - “there is a ayyapan temple nearby in our area – and they have several cultural programs during shabarimala season” –“oh really?? – wah – where is it is it nearly by – is it walk able -” – suddenly he is so much full of joy its seems as if he will go visit the temple right now – “yeah it is nearby – but I don’t know where exactly – cos I have never been there – I know because my dad told me” – I told him and he seems disappointed – “you do not go to temple????” –“Yes I do when my mom goes – during Onam and vishu – but it’s not very frequent though–” - “OKkkkk” – a sad ok! –
“Who is going to temple???” – enter arun – wonder what he is doing here – “sorry I don’t want to intrude – just came to check if you guys need anything -??” –no I think I am fine” – “good” – “he was saying he is planning to go to shabarimala – I think arun you should also go sometime – all mallu hindu guys go there – you should also give it a try” – “REALLY??” – “You going there 1st time or have been before” – “this would be the 4th time” – “4th time??? – Wow – I guess I can join u – it would be a good trek for me – smiles” – gr8! Thanks so much toocho – tht was funny – actually the discussion had become so bhakti bhav poorn – that I needed this – but hello be careful – he might not like it – he din like the fact that am not that religious - !! – “ah grrr” – realizing he has cracked something stupid – “ok – you guys continue – I shall check with the others if they need anything”
The kid – I don’t remember what his name is – ill call him bablu – cos if not his mama but at least he is cute – comes running to our room – I see my neice “dungu” is after him – she has a determined look – and is staring at him – I wonder whts up with those kids – bablu is standing near the wall panting - with a frightened look on his face – dungu still with the same determined look – what is it with this girl?? – is she going to hit him ? Pinch him or hug him?? – she is a very unpredictable girl – just like her naani - dungu approaches him and pulls her hand out and gives him a bikki (biscuit) – bikki is her language – bablu finally smiles – she is happy and goes away – WOW - !! – Childhood was definitely fun I think – so innocent - !!!
“I am a pure vegetarian!! – I don’t like meat or chicken” – “oh really – why is that so – have you never eaten?? Is your family also vegetarian -” “no – they all eat – it’s just that I don’t – I just don’t like the taste of it – besides it goes against my faith -” – “hmmm” - “how about u?” – “ME?? – ah hah – am a pure non-vegetarian – I love fish the most – I can have it anytime anywhere – in fact we all r in my family – kind of have been used to having chicken fish and eggs -” – he is again disappointed - :-(
“so – I have heard IT has hectic work schedule – and you have to travel a lot” - “yes that is true – at times my work becomes hectic -” – “do you have to stay back late?? – do you have night shifts??” – “no – no nights but yeah at times I have to stretch - what time do you come home -??” – “my timings are 8 to 5 and am home by 6” –“oh that’s a good time – you get lot of time for yourself” – “by the time I tell him about my travel tour and excursions he is already exhausted – its starts from Mysore – Pune – Bangalore – London - Italy - Swiss and 2 months back I had been to New York” – “OHHH” he says – “would you have to travel even now - ?? I mean even after marriage do they ask you to??” - “mm – well nothing is hard and fast – depends upon the opportunities!!” – He is again disappointed!
“So what are your aspirations? – what do you plan to do in next say 5 years??” – I ask him - “oh well – I have bought a house recently – so I think I shall shift there – and continue to work here – I go to office and come back by evening - so basically settle down” – hmmm – well is that all you want to do?? – “Mm well yes” -It seems like he is about to take VRS - !!!
“Are you guys done -??” – Says Jo – oh am so glad to see her – “am sorry – but your mom dad are looking for you – if you guys are done!” – “ah yes yes -”
So finally they are leaving – suddenly someone pulls my hand and takes me to a corner – one of his aunts – smiling hopefully at me – “so how did you like our aji mon???” – Ha?? – I am dumbfounded – “aaaa mmmm aa – aunty my parents will let you know” – “ah they will but you tell me now – don’t worry I won’t tell it to anybody” – wow nice plan!! – “hahha aunty – I do not know about him but you are very sweet –” “heheheh” – she is flattered – “ennal namalku pinne kaanam” (so we shall meet again) – says my mom – thank god she is here!!!
PHEW - !!! – At last the show has come to an end – I take a deep breath -!!!
It’s been just 15 min that they have left – and my mom dad are looking at me with the same hopeful smile – “WHAT???” – I say – “ok ok – no problem you take your time and let us know – but I liked the boy – he is educated – good job – has a house – good family – family boy -” and she goes on and on and on – and I wonder - has the show come to an end ?? – Or has it just begun?? !!!!!!!!!!! ………………………….
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